15 miles......

Last night I mapped out my run. It came to 14. Sage( my 12 yr old) asked to ride alongside me on her bike, so I had to adjust my route to accommodate a biker. Certain roads I take as a single runner are just not safe for a biker too. Crazy drivers!
We set out late, around 7:15, I had hoped to be out by 6:30, but my usual morning procrastination got in the way. The temperature was perfect! Warm enough for shorts, cold enough to keep me from sweating like a lunatic!
The first 7mi. were pretty uneventful. Just going. One foot in front of the other. Thankful for my company. Thankful for the quiet around us.
At 7 1/2, I needed to stop for a bottle of Gatorade. Sage had been carrying my water bottle in her backpack, and I haven't quite figured out how to carry enough water with me to last the distance. I got a camel pack for Mother's Day, but the thought of having to clean out the water bag has kept me from using it!
We stopped and I ran( ok I walked) into the store and grabbed a drink , I grabbed a cliff bar too( although the peanut m&ms were looking pretty darn good). My legs were feeling ok, but my stomach was feeling real empty and realizing I was only half way done I decided to eat at least half. One piece of peanut butter toast only lasts your body 7 1/2 mi. I guess.
I figured I'd change up the return route a little, not realizing the distance it would add. Glad at the time because it was more scenic. Not happy at the end when I realized what I had done!

As I was running it struck me, the irony of my running through one of the most wealthiest towns in these parts( I run through it, I don't live in it), while trying to raise money for one of the poorest countries in the world. Learning to live here while knowing what I now know and having seen the things I now have is a constant struggle. Having to admit to myself that I like nice houses, I like nice things. Is it ok to feel this way? How am I not to live with constant guilt with what the Lord has provided for me and my family and that sometimes I can become easily greedy and dare to want... more. Its hard to live here surrounded by wealth and overabundance. It makes me want. I don't want to want. Wanting creates envy. Envy is ugly.
Haiti is simple. Life there is simple. The stuff isn't all there to cloud your mind. You can focus.

God first. Always.

So those thoughts took me to around mile 12 1/2. At which point my body cried " mercy" and I just wanted to be done. I looked at poor Sage. What an amazing kid. Yes, she's my daughter so I have to say that, but really she is. Not one complaint. I know she was bored. She couldn't zoom on ahead, she was sticking with me. Riding a bike slow is very annoying. Sitting on a bike seat for 2 1/2 hours is hard.

At mile 14 , my pace really slowed. She encouraged me. Sorry to embarrass you, Sage, but I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

My form began to change. Not sure if went from incorrect to correct, or the reverse, but my legs started to bend more at the knees. It was as if my body wanted to be lower to the ground. It did. I wanted to be laying on it!
At the end, my arms seem to be pumping me along. Taking over for the lower half. I finished. 15 miles! Longest I've ever run. At this point I'll be able to say that until the end. There is a certain pride that comes with that statement. Even if I say it while laying on the couch with ice on both knees and no desire at all to even stand up for the rest of the day!!!!!!
Thanks for loving, giving, and praying!!!!!

Filhos, Oh how I love thee!!

Well, your chicken parm that is! Filhos Cucina in Groton, Ma makes THE best chicken parmesan EVER!!!!!
I mention this because the part of training I like best is carbo loading the night before my long run. Every race I have run since Filhos has opened had me eating their chicken parm the night before the race. Its just that good. My body likes it, my stomach agrees with it( very important), and I feel energized.

This week I had some stomach issues( I am prepared to very honest on this blog), and so I was feeling very empty( pun intended :-) ) , last night and was a little nervous about what my stomach would do on todays 12 mile run. I am pleased to report, thanks to Filhos ( and prayer, of course), my run went very well( by well I mean I there were no emergency trips off road)!

Sadly, I realize, that I will not be able to afford Filhos every Friday night leading up to the race. That would probably defeat the purpose of fundraising. I will have to perfect my own chicken parm recipe and hope it comes close enough to fool my body into thinking its getting the real thing.

Now, the run..... Today I ran 12 miles. I am a little behind schedule because I missed two weeks of long runs while I was in Haiti and despite this notion that " the body enjoys a break, and it will be stronger after", my legs apparently think quite differently!

Every long run starts off exactly the same. I dread it. I dilly dally in the morning before heading out. I wonder if perhaps Sunday would be a better day for a long run. Eventually I make it out the door.

My body resists. First one knee sort of snaps in place with a nice shooting pain, then the other does the same. Thank goodness they don't do it at the same time or else I'd land face first on the road. A mile or so into the run my left hamstring makes its presence known with a good squeeze and reminds me I forgot to stretch long enough. Again. About mile three or four I feel tired and begin to think " this is not gonna be a good run". I keep going because history has shown me that about mile five or six my body will stop resisting and accept that together, me, my body, and my mind, are gonna do this. And I fall into my pace. This happens on EVERY run. Its pretty annoying.
Amazingly, my pace came quicker today. My mind didn't torment me with evil thoughts of quitting and I actually had a pleasant run. Besides a killer blister on one of my toes( as if my feet weren't ugly enough already) my body feels good.
I'm sure the combination of finally committing to do this and all the amazing donations and support I am feeling had something to do with it. I think my feet actually felt lighter this morning knowing you are all out there and you support this.
Thank you all for loving, giving, praying.

Can I just say how BLOWN AWAY I am by everyone's support!!!!

You all are awesome!
Thank you for loving these kids, these woman, this orphanage, this country!!!!!

Today I received an e-mail from a family that has pledged to MATCH ALL DONATIONS UP TO TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!! Did not see that coming! Now, although that technically means my goal of 1200. is now reached, please see that now we have the opportunity to raise 2400.!!!!!! That's a lot of love!!!!

Before I committed to this idea of running and fundraising I prayed a lot. A lot. "God, can I do this?"," God do you want me to do this?"," God, will I actually raise any money?" I believed He was saying " yes, go ahead", but I never got a clear and "you will succeed".
Who the heck wants to go before a ton of people with an idea and fail miserably? Not me! So I did what comes all too naturally to me. I procrastinated. I was still running, but I knew until I created this blog I could always back out. I looked for every excuse I could to not do this.
My knee started to hurt.
My hamstring became extremely tight.
It was taking too much time away from my family.
I could barely run 7mi. one day, it felt laughable that I'd ever run 26.2( a bad run will really play a mind game with you).
The excuses kept coming.
Then, one day, louder then the reasons not to, came the reason to. God called me to this. It doesn't matter the outcome, it only matters that I obey. Trust and obey.
With faith I created the blog. With faith I've put myself out there. Determined" to not worry about tomorrow".

Imagine my amazement when just two days into this I can say I have already met my goal!!! Because of you being willing to listen to Gods gentle urging in your hearts, WE CAN GET ANOTHER CAREGIVER FOR TWO YEARS!!!!!!!

What do we do now? Well, I still have to run of course. And you can STILL CONTINUE TO DONATE!!!! Clearly God has a plan here! Just by reading this YOU are a part of His plan. More money means more years of caregivers sponsored. Perhaps it will mean more caregivers. Lets cross that bridge when we come to it. I hope we come to it! Sadly, there will always be children living in the orphange. That means there will always be a need for caregivers.
Please continue to share my post with people. Think about donating yourself, if you haven't already. Remember it doesn't have to be a lot. The smallest amount makes a difference. You can make a difference.
I'm soooooooo excited!!!!!!!

A word about Chip In

I've received some questions regarding Chip In so.....

When you click on the Chip In button it takes you directly to a paypal account for Servants For Haiti. I never see who is donating or how much until it shows a total on my Chip In meter.

You receive a receipt from Paypal showing your donation amount and that it went to SFH. It will also specify that the donation is for "an additional caregiver" .

Servants For Haiti receives your donation directly from your paypal account into thiers.

Of course you also have the option of sending a check directly to SFH and you could just specify on the check and include a note that you wanted your donation to go towards supporting a caregiver.

Servants For Haiti
PO Box 1214
Westford,Ma
01886

Thanks so much for your support

Why a marathon? Why a caregiver?

I've always wanted to run a marathon. I've always wondered if I had it in me to keep going mile after mile.

A few years ago I set a half-marathon as my personal "lets see if I can do this" goal. With the help of a very encouraging running buddy I finished and I didn't feel like I'd die after so I signed up for another one. That one didn't end as well and like many people who have a bad race I swore I was done. Why was I torturing myself anyway? I proved to myself I could finish, time to let it go. And yet a month or so later I found myself training for another half. Maybe I'd do better this time. Like child-birth, you forget the pain. Until you're somewhere between mile 1o-11, when you remember that pain and you wonder again," what on earth am I doing this for?"

So, I knew that if I were ever to run a marathon I'd need a purpose. Something I was running for. Something meaningful. Something that at mile 24( I'm praying it won't be before that!) I can tell myself "its not about me". I can know in my heart, the steps I have to finish stand for more then wondering what I'm capable of, but rather what I'm passionate about. What I want others to know about.

My passion is Haiti's children. The orphans, the innocent.

Currently my son, Roody, is living at Wayom Timoun ( Kingdom Kids) Orphanage in Cite Militaire, Haiti. We have begun the paperwork process to bring him home, but truly only God knows when that will be. I have met him and loved him and had the heartbreaking task of leaving him. Twice.

Wayom Timoun had 30 children before the earthquake. Since Jan. 12, 2010 their numbers have increased to near 60. 60 children who have suffered a tragic loss. Some of these kids now have parents that are waiting for them to come home. Some are still waiting........ is adoption on your heart?

Right now the amount of caregivers living, loving, dressing, cleaning,, feeding these kids is the same as when there were only 30. Just as you can sponsor the children of the orphange ( check out servantsforhaiti.org) for more info :-) ) , you can sponsor a caregiver. The cost is 50.00 a month. Do you have any idea what these caregivers do??????? I have seen them work. From sun-up to sundown these amazing strong beautiful Haitian woman are busting their buts the likes of which you can't even imagine!!!! Constantly going , never complaining, certainly not stopping for tea in the afternoon or a nap!!!! Laundry is done by HAND!!!!!!! Dishes are done by HAND!!!!!!!!!!Babies need changing, toddlers need direction, kids need to be fed..... But there aren't enough caregivers to get this work done. I said they don't complain, but these ladies are tired!!!!!!

I love and appreciate these woman. I am thankful they are there. But there needs to be more of them! For the sake of the children...... For the fathers and mothers who died in the quake, the parents who had to leave their children beause they could no longer care for them.......I want to provide more help.
With your help and support I'd like to raise enough to pay for another caregiver for the next two years. What happens after that? Not sure..... I guess I run another marathon!!!!!!

So thats it! My passion. Lets take care of Haiti's children.

We can't all move there and do it ourselves( although if God opened a door.....) , but we can provide the care these kids need through other means. 50.00 a month for what these woman do????!!!!!!!! They deserve so much more.... but thats another blog post.

This blog( I can't believe I'm writing a blog, does anyone really want to know whats in my head???) is my journey as I train. Most likely with occasional snipets of Haiti weaved in!

Will you share my blog with people? You never know who it will reach. And Please.........
if you can't support me financially, please pray for me.......... I have a feeling I'm gonna need it!!!!!!!