When I look back at my first post I remember how scary it was for me to commit to this. What would the outcome be? Would I meet my goal? Would I be able to keep up with the training? Would I actually be able to run a marathon? So many voices running through my head until I made that final decision to take a deep breath and go for it. Trust and obey.
October 17, 2010
A beautiful, albeit cold, fall morning in Lowell, Massachusetts. Not sure how many runners were there, but it sure felt like a lot. I could feel the energy in the air even before I parked. Runners with 26+ on their license plates proudly displaying their commitment to the sport. The experienced standing out in their high tech gear and confident strut. The organizers want you there early to get everyone parked and time to settle in. You spend the morning stretching and checking out the competition inside the heated Tsongas arena. My stomach was still doing flips and I visited the ladies room quit a few times that morning. At 7:45 a massive crowd started to moved towards the start line. There were two. One for the half and one for the full. They put us in shoots similar to what cattle run through to get into a corral.
Placement in line is crucial for me for a good start. Too close to the front and I'll go out too fast and fade quickly. Too far back and its very frustrating waiting to actually start running. I listened to the surrounding conversation to figure it out.
"Do you see the pace group for 3:40?" Not there.
"I'm trying to qualify for Boston. I'm running another marathon in three weeks just in case." Nope, not there.
" Which way should we face?" Ahhhh, perfect. :-)
And then two really cool things happened.
First, my friend called me to find out where I was so she could see me. She had brought her daughter and signs to see me off!!! Perfect timing because I was feeling very lonely at the time as lots of runners seemed to know the person they were standing next to. And I knew no-one. Tears started running as soon as I saw them , but it was so good to be able to let go of some of the emotion that I had pent up. Just being on that starting line was emotional. ( Should also note that sadly unknown to me my husband and kids were just a little further up ahead ready to cheer, but we missed each other). Thank you honey, for the effort it took to get four kids out of bed early on a Sunday morning to support me!!!! And thank you, Laurae for being there!
Secondly, the sound system stopped working and for some reason they were unable to play the National Anthem to start us off. How unpatriotic. We all were feeling kinda gypped, but then slowly you could hear it. Are they? Yep. Someone had started singing it and as it moved through the crowd more people joined and soon all the runners were singing the National Anthem. GOOSEBUMPS!!!!!! Nothing like singing the same amazing song with a few thousand other people to make you feel a little less alone and a lot more bonded to the people next to you. Now, thats the way to start to a sporting event!
And then we were off. I really don't remember hearing the gun go off, but eventually people were moving and so was I. Waved to my friend and her daughter, wiped the tears that were still falling and took a deep breath.
Mile 1
Went by really quickly. I noticed that my calves were unusually tight.
Mile 2
Calves still tight. Started taking in the different people who were running. All shapes and sizes. It really makes you question what "being fit" looks like.
Mile 3
Wow is it cold!
Mile 4
Why are my calves still tight?
Mile 5
People are finally starting to spread out. No more tripping on each other or trying to devise a "safe route" to go around. Find a trio setting a good solid pace and I run directly behind them. Our steps are in sync and although it doesn't last long it felt good.
Mile 6
Calves still unbelievably tight. Really looking forward to seeing my family at mile 7. Feeling lonely and starting to get scared that this was an absurd idea. Wanting to walk and realizing that that isn't a good sign. Have to pee.
Mile 7
Really have to pee. There is a line outside a port a potty and since I'm not actually in this to win it I figure I can afford to wait in line to pee. Very discouraging to watch people pass and I wonder if I'll ever catch up again. I let go of my "pace group" and get in line. I text Todd to make sure he is somewhere in the next mile. He is.
Saw my family:-). Got hugs, kisses, " Go Mama", and a banana. Not hungry, but I eat it and walk.
Mile 8
Tyngsboro bridge area. I make myself run again. Put my gloves back on and wonder when my calves are gonna get loose.
Mile 9-12
Feels really long. Doubt creeps in again. The road is flat, the river is pretty. Trying to get in the zone.Listen to my music I tell myself. ( I actually talked quite a bit out loud during this time.) No-one wants to talk. Everyone seems to be struggling already.
Over a microphone you hear " Move to the right, here come the finishers". Just what I need. To be lapped. We, the struggling, clap and give'em a " Great job". They don't respond. They can't. They're in their zone and they won't share it. I notice they all have sneakers with green on the bottom. Hmmmm.
Mile 13
Another bridge. Starting to loop around now. I feel a tremendous burst of energy and am finally able to lengthen my stride. At last! This is gonna turn out good after all, I think. Knowing my family is at mile 14, I keep going. Yes! There they are. Thank you. I stop to walk, drink, eat, and breathe. I start thinking about how far I still have to go. Ugh. the doubt again. I force myself to run.
Mile 14-16
Another friend found me and stopped to cheer! You have no idea of encouraging it is. I'm still battling with my calves and the stiffness seems to be climbing up the back of my legs. Why? This has never been a problem for me before. I start to cry. Why is it so hard? I've done at least this much before. Lets go body.
A man passing out Gu looked at me and said " You look Maavalous" Haha! I didn't, but I could've hugged him.
Mile 17-19
The battle is on. People are few and far between. I'm left with the strugglers. We are all struggling. There are no more crowds to cheer us on. They have moved on to the finish. I know I will see my family at mile 21 and I can walk then. But I can't make it 'til then. I walk. I run. I walk. I cry.
Mile 20
The wall.
I stop to take a picture and put it on Facebook, of course. I hope that getting to this point will cheer me up. My body is not tired, it just hurts. 6.2 miles left. Best case scenario an hour, but I know deep down it will be longer.
Mile 20.5
My family!!!!!!
More hugs, more kisses, more " Go mamas". I walk and drink. I want to stay with them, but they wave goodbye.
Mile 21
I start bargaining with myself. " Just get to mile 22, then walk" But I can't. Why? Starting to be with the same people now. The same backs stopping and going. I pass them, they they pass me. Its our own weird game. " Oh, your gonna run now? Well , then so am I!"
Mile 22-25
So many doubting voices fill my head. I know people are praying, but still I start wondering if maybe I'm not meant to finish this. I keep saying " If God brought me to this..... but, maybe God never meant I was to finish it...."
A man is stopped in the middle of the lane clutching in left quad. As I go by I ask if he is ok ( stupid really), "Ya." He says through gritted teeth.
I really don't care how few miles I have left. My brain starts to win. I walk. I hurt. I cry. I realize my time. And then.......
Mile 26
I am so gonna end this. Enough is enough. Lets go legs. We run by a soccer stadium playing "Waving Flags" . " When I get older, I will be stronger...." I wanna wave my arms in the air and look at " pink shirt" on my left. She is not sharing the moment. Too bad. I think of encouraging things, like being done.
I moved my legs. I ran over the last bridge straight into waiting friends screaming my name, I ran around La Lecheur Park, I ran into it and then because their are very cruel people in this world I ran all the way around the park and then finally under the finish banner. I did it. I ran a marathon. I cried.
I was afraid to try. I was afraid to fail. I would have lost so much if I would have listened to those voices. I learned so many lessons.
This has been quite the journey. Thank you all for taking it with me. Supporting me. Most importantly for supporting the children and the country that I love. Thank you.
PS
If you talked to me on Sunday I would have said "Never! Never again!"
Today, now that I can walk again almost completly without pain, I am considering it. I must be nuts!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The day before
What goes through my mind the day before the event that I've been training four months for?
Crazy thoughts!
The past two nights I've been plagued with nightmares of sleeping late or getting the day wrong. I wake up in a panic that I missed the race. Very unnerving. I'm trying to relax. I'm trying to get pumped, but instead my stomach is full of twisted and fluttering feelings. Actually I get like this before every race. And before every race I question why I signed up for this.
And so its back to the basics: I like to run. I like to see how far my body can get me. Without a race hovering in the distance as an incentive I probably wouldn't get out there to push myself. The feeling of accomplishment is sooooo worth it. And this time around I did something I never thought I would be able to do, I raised money and support for a cause that is very important to me. I realize that it sounds like I'm tooting my own horn( sounds funny when I write it), but I need to acknowledge it to myself because this is my reminder. This is why I will get up at five tomorrow, be in Lowell at 6:30am and stand on the starting line of " the longest distance I've ever run" and be happy. No, Be EXCITED!!!!!!!!
I'm spending my day today reading running stories and compiling a list of quotes and verses that I hope will come back to me in times of tiredness tomorrow. Stories that are very encouraging, amazing tales of the underdog winning the race. People with two artificial legs running marathons. Stories of cancer survivors and 9/11 victims. The feeling of running with others and what it feels like to cross that finish line no matter what place you come in( very relevant to this average runner).
I'm making my play list, complete with the theme song to Rocky( a guaranteed song to make you move your feet)I wonder if I'd get sick of hearing it if I played it the entire time :-) ).
And I have my prayer buddies! Thank you all so much for being willing to think of me and take the time to pray and support. I was gonna give everyone a time, but ( and no pity party here) I don't have 26 people.
And so, can I just ask you all to pray when you feel it. I trust God to do the nudging :-)
I truly appreciate each and every one of you and am amazed by the way God has provided support through out all of this.
And so( in no order of importance to me, except of course my husband :-) ) Todd, Rachael, Laura S, Keri, Kevin, Sue, Angie, Jill, Heidi,Sharon,Laurae, Kristin,Laura W, Harriet, Julie M THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
And lastly, tonight I will dig into a very generous portion of Filhos chicken parm with penne and I'll probably eat a side of bread sticks too! I will enjoy each and every bite and I will feel absolutely no guilt. After all, I am running 26.2 miles tomorrow!!!!!! ( or so I hope)
" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil. 4:13
"They will soar on wings like eagles: they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:31
My collection of quotes:
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.~ Edmund Hillary
Little by Little one walks far~Proverb
I hated every minute of training, but I said,"Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion"~ Muhammad Ali
Do or do not. There is no "try". ~ Yoda
Giving up is your brain's idea. Ask yourself, "Who's in charge here?"~ Phil Whyman
Crazy thoughts!
The past two nights I've been plagued with nightmares of sleeping late or getting the day wrong. I wake up in a panic that I missed the race. Very unnerving. I'm trying to relax. I'm trying to get pumped, but instead my stomach is full of twisted and fluttering feelings. Actually I get like this before every race. And before every race I question why I signed up for this.
And so its back to the basics: I like to run. I like to see how far my body can get me. Without a race hovering in the distance as an incentive I probably wouldn't get out there to push myself. The feeling of accomplishment is sooooo worth it. And this time around I did something I never thought I would be able to do, I raised money and support for a cause that is very important to me. I realize that it sounds like I'm tooting my own horn( sounds funny when I write it), but I need to acknowledge it to myself because this is my reminder. This is why I will get up at five tomorrow, be in Lowell at 6:30am and stand on the starting line of " the longest distance I've ever run" and be happy. No, Be EXCITED!!!!!!!!
I'm spending my day today reading running stories and compiling a list of quotes and verses that I hope will come back to me in times of tiredness tomorrow. Stories that are very encouraging, amazing tales of the underdog winning the race. People with two artificial legs running marathons. Stories of cancer survivors and 9/11 victims. The feeling of running with others and what it feels like to cross that finish line no matter what place you come in( very relevant to this average runner).
I'm making my play list, complete with the theme song to Rocky( a guaranteed song to make you move your feet)I wonder if I'd get sick of hearing it if I played it the entire time :-) ).
And I have my prayer buddies! Thank you all so much for being willing to think of me and take the time to pray and support. I was gonna give everyone a time, but ( and no pity party here) I don't have 26 people.
And so, can I just ask you all to pray when you feel it. I trust God to do the nudging :-)
I truly appreciate each and every one of you and am amazed by the way God has provided support through out all of this.
And so( in no order of importance to me, except of course my husband :-) ) Todd, Rachael, Laura S, Keri, Kevin, Sue, Angie, Jill, Heidi,Sharon,Laurae, Kristin,Laura W, Harriet, Julie M THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
And lastly, tonight I will dig into a very generous portion of Filhos chicken parm with penne and I'll probably eat a side of bread sticks too! I will enjoy each and every bite and I will feel absolutely no guilt. After all, I am running 26.2 miles tomorrow!!!!!! ( or so I hope)
" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil. 4:13
"They will soar on wings like eagles: they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:31
My collection of quotes:
It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.~ Edmund Hillary
Little by Little one walks far~Proverb
I hated every minute of training, but I said,"Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion"~ Muhammad Ali
Do or do not. There is no "try". ~ Yoda
Giving up is your brain's idea. Ask yourself, "Who's in charge here?"~ Phil Whyman
Saturday, September 25, 2010
That which does not kill us makes us stronger
Ok. If you say so.
Last week I ran my second 20 miles. I felt pretty good for most of it. In fact up until mile 16 1/2 I was still singing along with my ipod. It was a beautiful crisp fall morning and I was probably equally happy to be reaching the peak of my training as I was to be out running. I ended strong( meaning I could run up my driveway instead of crawl) and I even went for a small hike the next day.
Yep, I was ready for the tapering part of my training. I feel like I've been training for this marathon for a looooong time! I am ready to run just for the sake of running again and not because I have to. I have enjoyed the challenges that each long run presents, but leading up to them are torment. Truthfully the hardest part of this all hasn't been the long runs on the weekends, instead its just been fitting in running at all now that school and, well, "life" have started again. The relaxed pace of summer and kids sleeping in made things a lot easier.
Now to get in a 5 miler I am forced to get up at 5:30 AM!!!!! HELLO, its still dark out!!!!!!!!!! I have never NEVER been a morning person. But there is no way to fit in " me" time if I don't. I've learned that my body adjusts and before long my eyes start popping open on their own before the alarm clock has time to buzz. However, on a cold fall morning before the sun comes up, it just feels good to stay in bed. And so, even though my eyes are open, getting out from under toasty blankets is still a a battle of the wills. My body's will to lay in bed verses my minds knowledge that if I don't do these runs I have no business getting out on that course come marathon day.
Never have I regretted being out there, though. The quiet of the mornings. Watching the mist coming off the water of the creek down the road. The cows looking at me like I'm such a fool:-). All those moments make it worth it. Those moments and the satisfaction of knowing that by 7:00 am I've already run 5 miles!
This week I enjoyed three very relaxed runs and then two days off, in a row. Off to a good start on the tapering.
Today I ran the Hollis, Nh Applefest half-marathon. This is the third year that I've run this and the thought when we( my friend and I ) signed up was that it would be a nice training run. The course is beautiful, albeit quite hilly. The first year I did it I came in under 2 hours. The next year I did not. And so as pride can so easily get hold of us, I convinced myself that if ever I was gonna beat my first time this would be it. Aren't I in the best shape( running wise) I've ever been? If I can run 20 milers now then it should be no problem to pull of a half in under 2 hours.
Never mind the fact that a week ago I ran 20 miles. Never mind the fact that I still need to run a marathon in three weeks. Never mind the fact that this is supposed to be a tapering run! Nope, pride was leading my way.
And what comes before the fall????? Yep, pride!!!!!!! Really shoulda seen that one coming.
Hot. Grueling. Miserable. Awful. Painful. Worst race ever. Just to throw out a couple of adjectives to describe this mornings tragic defeat( of my spirit!).
Now, in my defense, it was 86 degrees! And the race doesn't start until 10:00 which puts me running at noon. It was hot. I have never seen so many people walk that course as I did today. The ambulance went sirening by at least twice( not an encouraging sound ). But still, I am defeated. I'll post my time when I get it officially( hoping it will be a few minutes better than what I think).
Also made a rookie mistake of wearing brand new running shoes for the race. Now I have something on the ball of foot that resembles a stone when I walk. Yeah! Praying that goes away quickly 'cuz I really can't envision running 26.2 miles on a stone.
Yes, this was a very discouraging post. I debated waiting it now and waiting until later. But this is it. This is me being real about training. And the reality is........ sometimes it just stinks.
Now what doesn't stink and is very encouraging and something I am still everyday in complete amazement over is how much support you have all shown. Truly and honestly it has shown that God is in this. Reaching 2400.00 is a God thing. There is no way it can't be.
You guys are awesome!
Thank you for loving, giving, praying.
" With God all things are possible"
Last week I ran my second 20 miles. I felt pretty good for most of it. In fact up until mile 16 1/2 I was still singing along with my ipod. It was a beautiful crisp fall morning and I was probably equally happy to be reaching the peak of my training as I was to be out running. I ended strong( meaning I could run up my driveway instead of crawl) and I even went for a small hike the next day.
Yep, I was ready for the tapering part of my training. I feel like I've been training for this marathon for a looooong time! I am ready to run just for the sake of running again and not because I have to. I have enjoyed the challenges that each long run presents, but leading up to them are torment. Truthfully the hardest part of this all hasn't been the long runs on the weekends, instead its just been fitting in running at all now that school and, well, "life" have started again. The relaxed pace of summer and kids sleeping in made things a lot easier.
Now to get in a 5 miler I am forced to get up at 5:30 AM!!!!! HELLO, its still dark out!!!!!!!!!! I have never NEVER been a morning person. But there is no way to fit in " me" time if I don't. I've learned that my body adjusts and before long my eyes start popping open on their own before the alarm clock has time to buzz. However, on a cold fall morning before the sun comes up, it just feels good to stay in bed. And so, even though my eyes are open, getting out from under toasty blankets is still a a battle of the wills. My body's will to lay in bed verses my minds knowledge that if I don't do these runs I have no business getting out on that course come marathon day.
Never have I regretted being out there, though. The quiet of the mornings. Watching the mist coming off the water of the creek down the road. The cows looking at me like I'm such a fool:-). All those moments make it worth it. Those moments and the satisfaction of knowing that by 7:00 am I've already run 5 miles!
This week I enjoyed three very relaxed runs and then two days off, in a row. Off to a good start on the tapering.
Today I ran the Hollis, Nh Applefest half-marathon. This is the third year that I've run this and the thought when we( my friend and I ) signed up was that it would be a nice training run. The course is beautiful, albeit quite hilly. The first year I did it I came in under 2 hours. The next year I did not. And so as pride can so easily get hold of us, I convinced myself that if ever I was gonna beat my first time this would be it. Aren't I in the best shape( running wise) I've ever been? If I can run 20 milers now then it should be no problem to pull of a half in under 2 hours.
Never mind the fact that a week ago I ran 20 miles. Never mind the fact that I still need to run a marathon in three weeks. Never mind the fact that this is supposed to be a tapering run! Nope, pride was leading my way.
And what comes before the fall????? Yep, pride!!!!!!! Really shoulda seen that one coming.
Hot. Grueling. Miserable. Awful. Painful. Worst race ever. Just to throw out a couple of adjectives to describe this mornings tragic defeat( of my spirit!).
Now, in my defense, it was 86 degrees! And the race doesn't start until 10:00 which puts me running at noon. It was hot. I have never seen so many people walk that course as I did today. The ambulance went sirening by at least twice( not an encouraging sound ). But still, I am defeated. I'll post my time when I get it officially( hoping it will be a few minutes better than what I think).
Also made a rookie mistake of wearing brand new running shoes for the race. Now I have something on the ball of foot that resembles a stone when I walk. Yeah! Praying that goes away quickly 'cuz I really can't envision running 26.2 miles on a stone.
Yes, this was a very discouraging post. I debated waiting it now and waiting until later. But this is it. This is me being real about training. And the reality is........ sometimes it just stinks.
Now what doesn't stink and is very encouraging and something I am still everyday in complete amazement over is how much support you have all shown. Truly and honestly it has shown that God is in this. Reaching 2400.00 is a God thing. There is no way it can't be.
You guys are awesome!
Thank you for loving, giving, praying.
" With God all things are possible"
Friday, September 3, 2010
20 miles and the lucky penny
Let me start by saying how once again I am amazed! Check out that chip-in meter! We're so close! Thank you all again so very much for your support both financially and in prayer. I even need to give a big giant "Woo-hoo" for what this means for Kingdom Kids Orphanage! For the kids whose home it is right now and for the woman that God already knows about who will soon have the "job" of loving and taking tireless care of 74 precious orphans.
Well, 20 miles! It sure kicked my butt! Because my husband is currently in Haiti Sage was unable to accompany me on today's run. It was a very lonely 20 miles. A nice quiet 5 mile run to process your thoughts is one thing. 20 miles without talking to a soul and being only in your own head can get pretty ugly. Sage being unable to accompany me meant that Sage was babysitting. I didn't want to leave the four kids unattended for too long so my plan was to run 13 miles outside( two hours) and then finish the last 7 on the treadmill. No problem, right! Not quite.
I set out at 7:00. Stopping at mile 7 for a 4 minute walk so I could choke down half a cliff bar and some water. At 12 I knew there was no way I'd get through 7 more on the treadmill. Just too boring.
So I called home( LOVE my iphone :-) ) and begged one of my sweet children to meet me on the driveway with water and asked if everyone was still getting along. Yes and yes. Great. I was able to add on a four mile loop before jumping on the treadmill. I pretty much dragged my butt those four miles and couldn't believe that reaching home wouldn't be an end to my misery as it usually does, but rather three more miles of PAIN!!!!
I won't go into all the intricacies of my torment today( I've done enough of that in the past), but I will share two things. One, I finally figured out the gosh-awful muscle knot I get between my shoulder blades. I think its because I run with my head down a lot. Somehow that causes to much stress on that muscle( whatever it is). I can ease the pain by running with my chin up. Really up. I feel like a show dog prancing itself around the ring. " Oh, everyone look at me. Don't I look so pretty!"
Secondly, my stomach has developed a type of Pavlov's dog response to returning home. As soon I turn the corner at the top of my street I, shall I say, get a sudden urge! Not normally a problem because I'm usually done when I return home. Today however I was just passing by. Didn't help that four mile loop at all. I'll remember to avoid looping by my house in the future:-).
Finished my three remaining miles on the treadmill. The longest three miles I've ever run on it. And now..... oh, the pain and stiffness! The thing about running my long run on both a weekday and also a day without my husband around meant that I still had to function. Actually function. Driving. Errands. Cooking. All with my legs! But right now I am sitting and it feels goooooooood. I think I may sleep right where I am tonight:-)
The lucky penny part......
During my run I noticed a penny on the street. My family calls all stray pennies "lucky pennies" . Of course you need to pick it up to receive the " luck". Completely silly, I realize, but something that helps us pick up the pennies as opposed to just leaving them on the ground.
See the thing about going to Haiti is how it changes everything for you. It changes your thoughts and mindset so that you can't see a penny laying on the street and not pick it up. A penny is still money after all. Now some people may pick up all those pennies they see, but I've been with many people who don't . Why? Are we so wealthy that seeing free money on the street isn't worth the effort to bend over. No matter the worth.
Do you think a Haitian would leave a penny on the ground? Or maybe the better question would be, would a Haitian even drop a penny on the ground and not know it? What are we doing?
I write this because I have to admit to you all that today I didn't pick up the penny. It was on a hill around mile 8 and I was hot and tired. And I thought... " oh, its just a penny". And it has bothered me ever since. I've been to Haiti. I know. I've seen. And yet...
In Haiti it would never be " just a penny".
Forgive me Haiti for being so American.
Isaiah 40:31
Thank you all for giving, praying and loving.
Well, 20 miles! It sure kicked my butt! Because my husband is currently in Haiti Sage was unable to accompany me on today's run. It was a very lonely 20 miles. A nice quiet 5 mile run to process your thoughts is one thing. 20 miles without talking to a soul and being only in your own head can get pretty ugly. Sage being unable to accompany me meant that Sage was babysitting. I didn't want to leave the four kids unattended for too long so my plan was to run 13 miles outside( two hours) and then finish the last 7 on the treadmill. No problem, right! Not quite.
I set out at 7:00. Stopping at mile 7 for a 4 minute walk so I could choke down half a cliff bar and some water. At 12 I knew there was no way I'd get through 7 more on the treadmill. Just too boring.
So I called home( LOVE my iphone :-) ) and begged one of my sweet children to meet me on the driveway with water and asked if everyone was still getting along. Yes and yes. Great. I was able to add on a four mile loop before jumping on the treadmill. I pretty much dragged my butt those four miles and couldn't believe that reaching home wouldn't be an end to my misery as it usually does, but rather three more miles of PAIN!!!!
I won't go into all the intricacies of my torment today( I've done enough of that in the past), but I will share two things. One, I finally figured out the gosh-awful muscle knot I get between my shoulder blades. I think its because I run with my head down a lot. Somehow that causes to much stress on that muscle( whatever it is). I can ease the pain by running with my chin up. Really up. I feel like a show dog prancing itself around the ring. " Oh, everyone look at me. Don't I look so pretty!"
Secondly, my stomach has developed a type of Pavlov's dog response to returning home. As soon I turn the corner at the top of my street I, shall I say, get a sudden urge! Not normally a problem because I'm usually done when I return home. Today however I was just passing by. Didn't help that four mile loop at all. I'll remember to avoid looping by my house in the future:-).
Finished my three remaining miles on the treadmill. The longest three miles I've ever run on it. And now..... oh, the pain and stiffness! The thing about running my long run on both a weekday and also a day without my husband around meant that I still had to function. Actually function. Driving. Errands. Cooking. All with my legs! But right now I am sitting and it feels goooooooood. I think I may sleep right where I am tonight:-)
The lucky penny part......
During my run I noticed a penny on the street. My family calls all stray pennies "lucky pennies" . Of course you need to pick it up to receive the " luck". Completely silly, I realize, but something that helps us pick up the pennies as opposed to just leaving them on the ground.
See the thing about going to Haiti is how it changes everything for you. It changes your thoughts and mindset so that you can't see a penny laying on the street and not pick it up. A penny is still money after all. Now some people may pick up all those pennies they see, but I've been with many people who don't . Why? Are we so wealthy that seeing free money on the street isn't worth the effort to bend over. No matter the worth.
Do you think a Haitian would leave a penny on the ground? Or maybe the better question would be, would a Haitian even drop a penny on the ground and not know it? What are we doing?
I write this because I have to admit to you all that today I didn't pick up the penny. It was on a hill around mile 8 and I was hot and tired. And I thought... " oh, its just a penny". And it has bothered me ever since. I've been to Haiti. I know. I've seen. And yet...
In Haiti it would never be " just a penny".
Forgive me Haiti for being so American.
Isaiah 40:31
Thank you all for giving, praying and loving.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Where the heck is my 6-pack????
With an 18 mile long run and mileage totaling near the same during the week you'd think I'd have some resemblance of abdominal muscles coming to the surface. Nope. Not even one! Now, I realize to get abs again at 36 after birthing three kids was not the point of running this race( the kiddos living in the orphanage are), but I was hopeful it would be an added bonus!!!! I have a suspicion I do have abs, but they will remain hidden under the thick layer of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk I keep telling myself I deserve and( heres where the the problem is) can afford( calorically) to eat!!!!
Anyways....... Yep, I made it to 18 miles!!!!! The run was a lot worse in my head this week then the actual run. I didn't collapse into a small writhing ball like last week:-)
I made some changes today that I do believe helped.
I changed my course. I needed a new view to distract me and as a result I felt more like I was exploring the town rather then simply trying to get to the turn around point and be done.
I walked. Not the whole way of course! I have always felt like I was cheating by walking during my run. This week I read in a training blog about the importance of walking to give your body a chance to rest in order to get you through the long runs. Marathoners( it said) will often walk at some point and still finish in record times. So, today when I felt like it, I walked. Sometimes for a minute, sometimes two, some technical difficulities at one point, caused me to have to walk for five. After each time I felt completely refreshed! I was actually kinda amazed at the difference it made. As a result my energy stayed up and I finished the run happy. Something I haven't been doing after my long runs. Of course, I'm happy that the run is over, but I'm referring to that " That was a good run!" feeling I used to get. Trying to maintain my love( like) of running through this experience is important to me.
And despite my telling a " certain friend" that I wouldn't experiment with my tried and true methods, I did. Now, I'm not saying it added anything, but I do have to admit it didn't take away anything. I didn't have any Gatorade today. Just water.
Lastly, based upon this new theory of barefoot running being better for your feet, legs....etc. I paid attention to how my feet felt in my sneakers. Last week I experienced a lot of foot pain and cramping.
Since the whole idea of barefoot running is that your foot is free to open, extend, reach and grab, so I made sure when I stepped I flattened my foot inside my sneaker.( of course this could start discussions on the proper way to land on your foot, but I think the proper way is whatever position leaves you without injury) I stretched my toes out and even wiggled them around at times! I've always had a narrow foot so all shoes tend to be on the wide side for me. Leaving me with plently of room to stretch my foot! It felt good. Hmmmmm, I guess its my own variation on barefoot running. I'm certainly not crazy enough to forgo my beloved cushion in the heel of sneaker:-)
Isaiah 40 :31 " But they that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles: they shall run and not be weary: they shall walk and not faint".
Thank you all for loving, praying, and giving.
Anyways....... Yep, I made it to 18 miles!!!!! The run was a lot worse in my head this week then the actual run. I didn't collapse into a small writhing ball like last week:-)
I made some changes today that I do believe helped.
I changed my course. I needed a new view to distract me and as a result I felt more like I was exploring the town rather then simply trying to get to the turn around point and be done.
I walked. Not the whole way of course! I have always felt like I was cheating by walking during my run. This week I read in a training blog about the importance of walking to give your body a chance to rest in order to get you through the long runs. Marathoners( it said) will often walk at some point and still finish in record times. So, today when I felt like it, I walked. Sometimes for a minute, sometimes two, some technical difficulities at one point, caused me to have to walk for five. After each time I felt completely refreshed! I was actually kinda amazed at the difference it made. As a result my energy stayed up and I finished the run happy. Something I haven't been doing after my long runs. Of course, I'm happy that the run is over, but I'm referring to that " That was a good run!" feeling I used to get. Trying to maintain my love( like) of running through this experience is important to me.
And despite my telling a " certain friend" that I wouldn't experiment with my tried and true methods, I did. Now, I'm not saying it added anything, but I do have to admit it didn't take away anything. I didn't have any Gatorade today. Just water.
Lastly, based upon this new theory of barefoot running being better for your feet, legs....etc. I paid attention to how my feet felt in my sneakers. Last week I experienced a lot of foot pain and cramping.
Since the whole idea of barefoot running is that your foot is free to open, extend, reach and grab, so I made sure when I stepped I flattened my foot inside my sneaker.( of course this could start discussions on the proper way to land on your foot, but I think the proper way is whatever position leaves you without injury) I stretched my toes out and even wiggled them around at times! I've always had a narrow foot so all shoes tend to be on the wide side for me. Leaving me with plently of room to stretch my foot! It felt good. Hmmmmm, I guess its my own variation on barefoot running. I'm certainly not crazy enough to forgo my beloved cushion in the heel of sneaker:-)
Isaiah 40 :31 " But they that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles: they shall run and not be weary: they shall walk and not faint".
Thank you all for loving, praying, and giving.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
17 miles.....
You wouldn't think that running 17 miles would be that much harder then running 15, but it is!!!!!!
I even set out thinking I'd shoot for 18! Thats what feeling cocky gets you.
Blessed with another amazingly beautiful morning and my 12 yr old running buddy by my side, I set out.
Last night I had salmon and a heaping side of brown rice. Healthy, yes, but I began to have my doubts as to weather it would feed my muscles with glycogen( I've been doing some reading) they same way white pasta does.
I think the doubt was enough to start a creeping feeling that I was running low on energy. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast and burped peanut tbutter for the next two hours.
According to the book I'm currently reading, Marathon, the Ultimate training guide, my body takes 3-4 hours to digest my breakfast. Experienced marathoners will get up extra early to make sure they have time to digest before the race. Hmmmm. Probably explains my burping, but hardly how eating a high carbo loaded bar at mile 8 helps me through the rest of the miles..... I'm clearly missing something.
I drink a lot during my run. A combination of water mixed with Gatorade. I find Gatorade straight to be too sweet. The book also talks a lot about gels and such. Stating that in liquid form my body will be able to "get to" the energy more quickly then if it had to digest it. Of course staying hydrated keeps the energy up too. I'm still working on the balance of drinking enough to stay hydrated with too much that I have to pee constantly. It is a fine line and when you add the weather it just isn't an exact science. The training runs are as much about building strength and endurance as they are experiments to see what works best to make my body perform its best. Information helps, but truly experience is best. What works for me doesn't necessarily work for you.
It is truly interesting if I can remain unconfused.
For my readers( yeah, cuz I have so many) that are fans of high-protein diets, well the book addresses that too, and since the author has been running marathons for years as well as training people to run marathons, well, I'm gonna stick with his theory that carbs are good. And high-carb meals the night before a long run are very gooooooood:-)! Maybe when I get a couple of marathons under my belt I'll experiment, but not for this one!
Anyhow, 17 miles.....
Its long and its hard. I'm not sure what I expect from this point on. Pain, I guess. Yep, got that.
I could finish it and I did. Stopping before I'm home doesn't feel like an option. Its not that I can't breathe anymore or that my legs turn to jello. Its that every other part of my body just hurts. My knee throbs and threatens with every step to not bend anymore. My feet, straight out to my toes, scream at me to stop. The arches cramp. My right upper back feels like it has a hole burning through it. My left shin starts to speak up subtly. Even my right elbow twinges and sends little nerve twinges out to my fingers!
I feel these things with each step. The pain almost becomes rhythmic. I expect it and brace for it. The focus comes off of running and more about the pain. Oh, the joy!
And then, I'm done. I'm home. I wish I could say the pain stopped as soon as I finished, it doesn't, but it does taper off a little as I cool down. Ultimately, I'm left tired and a little sore. Oh, and I feel like I'm gonna puke!
Now, if that doesn't make you want to run out and sign up for a marathon....... :-)
PS: I got some flack about my comments regarding the condition of my legs last week and I'd like to point out that I said "I've accepted" the shape of my legs. I have no ill feeling towards them.
Years ago I read a quote from Jackie Joyner- Kersee. It was something to the effect that she knows she will never have waifer like model legs , but she would always be proud of how strong they were.
I am thankful for my legs. I am thankful that they helped me run 17 miles today.
Isaiah 40:31
They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles: they shall run and not be weary: they shall walk and not faint.
This is my verse today, tomorrow and race day!
Thanks for loving, giving, and praying!
I even set out thinking I'd shoot for 18! Thats what feeling cocky gets you.
Blessed with another amazingly beautiful morning and my 12 yr old running buddy by my side, I set out.
Last night I had salmon and a heaping side of brown rice. Healthy, yes, but I began to have my doubts as to weather it would feed my muscles with glycogen( I've been doing some reading) they same way white pasta does.
I think the doubt was enough to start a creeping feeling that I was running low on energy. I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast and burped peanut tbutter for the next two hours.
According to the book I'm currently reading, Marathon, the Ultimate training guide, my body takes 3-4 hours to digest my breakfast. Experienced marathoners will get up extra early to make sure they have time to digest before the race. Hmmmm. Probably explains my burping, but hardly how eating a high carbo loaded bar at mile 8 helps me through the rest of the miles..... I'm clearly missing something.
I drink a lot during my run. A combination of water mixed with Gatorade. I find Gatorade straight to be too sweet. The book also talks a lot about gels and such. Stating that in liquid form my body will be able to "get to" the energy more quickly then if it had to digest it. Of course staying hydrated keeps the energy up too. I'm still working on the balance of drinking enough to stay hydrated with too much that I have to pee constantly. It is a fine line and when you add the weather it just isn't an exact science. The training runs are as much about building strength and endurance as they are experiments to see what works best to make my body perform its best. Information helps, but truly experience is best. What works for me doesn't necessarily work for you.
It is truly interesting if I can remain unconfused.
For my readers( yeah, cuz I have so many) that are fans of high-protein diets, well the book addresses that too, and since the author has been running marathons for years as well as training people to run marathons, well, I'm gonna stick with his theory that carbs are good. And high-carb meals the night before a long run are very gooooooood:-)! Maybe when I get a couple of marathons under my belt I'll experiment, but not for this one!
Anyhow, 17 miles.....
Its long and its hard. I'm not sure what I expect from this point on. Pain, I guess. Yep, got that.
I could finish it and I did. Stopping before I'm home doesn't feel like an option. Its not that I can't breathe anymore or that my legs turn to jello. Its that every other part of my body just hurts. My knee throbs and threatens with every step to not bend anymore. My feet, straight out to my toes, scream at me to stop. The arches cramp. My right upper back feels like it has a hole burning through it. My left shin starts to speak up subtly. Even my right elbow twinges and sends little nerve twinges out to my fingers!
I feel these things with each step. The pain almost becomes rhythmic. I expect it and brace for it. The focus comes off of running and more about the pain. Oh, the joy!
And then, I'm done. I'm home. I wish I could say the pain stopped as soon as I finished, it doesn't, but it does taper off a little as I cool down. Ultimately, I'm left tired and a little sore. Oh, and I feel like I'm gonna puke!
Now, if that doesn't make you want to run out and sign up for a marathon....... :-)
PS: I got some flack about my comments regarding the condition of my legs last week and I'd like to point out that I said "I've accepted" the shape of my legs. I have no ill feeling towards them.
Years ago I read a quote from Jackie Joyner- Kersee. It was something to the effect that she knows she will never have waifer like model legs , but she would always be proud of how strong they were.
I am thankful for my legs. I am thankful that they helped me run 17 miles today.
Isaiah 40:31
They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles: they shall run and not be weary: they shall walk and not faint.
This is my verse today, tomorrow and race day!
Thanks for loving, giving, and praying!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Calm before the storm
Yesterday I only had to run 12. Yes, 12 is still loooooong, but after 15, it felt like a break. Looking ahead in my training, this last week was the calm before the storm. I had been averaging between 28 and 30 miles a week. This week is where I begin the climb increasing that average mileage to near 40. In 4 weeks I'll attempt 20. Just thinking of this causes doubt. But, as I keep reminding myself , God brought me to this, God'll see me through this.
My legs are TIRED!!!!!!! And they are about to become exhausted!!!!!!The idea of the training is to increase mileage gradually. Get to 20 miles( twice) and then the mileage will taper down again for a few weeks prior to the race. This next month will be the hardest and I feel will truly test what I'm made of. More importantly, what my legs are made of. From the looks of them right now, I'd say cottage cheese. I'm shooting for a cheese stick! ( hmm... all this cheese talk, maybe I'm need of some protein). I have high hopes that will change at some point. I can't deny that a part of all this is also to see what positive changes all this running has on my body. I wouldn't mind if in fact my 19 yr old body, complete with abs, were to surface along the way!!!! No, you won't hear me complaining about that!
And so, yesterdays run was rather dull. Beautiful weather again to be thankful for and of course every run I return from uninjured was a good run!
A couple of personal running tips I've learned over time and would like to share:
1) Advil. Love it! I take two before I head out each time and I think it just gives me that certain" something something" to get past any small aches that creep up from knee overuse.
2) Glide. Love love love it!!!! It looks like a deodorant stick. You rub it on any part of your body that rubs another part of your body. Its magic. I've accepted that my thighs will always touch. They are just built that way. But after an hour of "touching" my thighs are just not friends anymore. Those of you who are blessed with " friendly thighs" can relate. No? I am happy to report this product keeps them happy!!!! I rub it on my toes, my arms, my knees..... you get the point!
3) Long shorts. Running shorts are short. Soccer shorts are long. If you look down while running and see tree trunks, your brain thinks it is running on tree trunks. Trees trunks become very heavy to lift after a few miles. A good trick is to hide the trunk part and just let your limbs peek out. Tree limbs are light and wonderfully quick to run on!
4) Any street that has the name hill in it should be avoided at all costs. It is named that for a reason!
On a more serious note..... Check out that Chip In meter!!!!! I am amazed!!!! You are awesome!!!!!!!
Thank you all for loving, giving, and praying!!!!
My legs are TIRED!!!!!!! And they are about to become exhausted!!!!!!The idea of the training is to increase mileage gradually. Get to 20 miles( twice) and then the mileage will taper down again for a few weeks prior to the race. This next month will be the hardest and I feel will truly test what I'm made of. More importantly, what my legs are made of. From the looks of them right now, I'd say cottage cheese. I'm shooting for a cheese stick! ( hmm... all this cheese talk, maybe I'm need of some protein). I have high hopes that will change at some point. I can't deny that a part of all this is also to see what positive changes all this running has on my body. I wouldn't mind if in fact my 19 yr old body, complete with abs, were to surface along the way!!!! No, you won't hear me complaining about that!
And so, yesterdays run was rather dull. Beautiful weather again to be thankful for and of course every run I return from uninjured was a good run!
A couple of personal running tips I've learned over time and would like to share:
1) Advil. Love it! I take two before I head out each time and I think it just gives me that certain" something something" to get past any small aches that creep up from knee overuse.
2) Glide. Love love love it!!!! It looks like a deodorant stick. You rub it on any part of your body that rubs another part of your body. Its magic. I've accepted that my thighs will always touch. They are just built that way. But after an hour of "touching" my thighs are just not friends anymore. Those of you who are blessed with " friendly thighs" can relate. No? I am happy to report this product keeps them happy!!!! I rub it on my toes, my arms, my knees..... you get the point!
3) Long shorts. Running shorts are short. Soccer shorts are long. If you look down while running and see tree trunks, your brain thinks it is running on tree trunks. Trees trunks become very heavy to lift after a few miles. A good trick is to hide the trunk part and just let your limbs peek out. Tree limbs are light and wonderfully quick to run on!
4) Any street that has the name hill in it should be avoided at all costs. It is named that for a reason!
On a more serious note..... Check out that Chip In meter!!!!! I am amazed!!!! You are awesome!!!!!!!
Thank you all for loving, giving, and praying!!!!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
15 miles......
Last night I mapped out my run. It came to 14. Sage( my 12 yr old) asked to ride alongside me on her bike, so I had to adjust my route to accommodate a biker. Certain roads I take as a single runner are just not safe for a biker too. Crazy drivers!
We set out late, around 7:15, I had hoped to be out by 6:30, but my usual morning procrastination got in the way. The temperature was perfect! Warm enough for shorts, cold enough to keep me from sweating like a lunatic!
The first 7mi. were pretty uneventful. Just going. One foot in front of the other. Thankful for my company. Thankful for the quiet around us.
At 7 1/2, I needed to stop for a bottle of Gatorade. Sage had been carrying my water bottle in her backpack, and I haven't quite figured out how to carry enough water with me to last the distance. I got a camel pack for Mother's Day, but the thought of having to clean out the water bag has kept me from using it!
We stopped and I ran( ok I walked) into the store and grabbed a drink , I grabbed a cliff bar too( although the peanut m&ms were looking pretty darn good). My legs were feeling ok, but my stomach was feeling real empty and realizing I was only half way done I decided to eat at least half. One piece of peanut butter toast only lasts your body 7 1/2 mi. I guess.
I figured I'd change up the return route a little, not realizing the distance it would add. Glad at the time because it was more scenic. Not happy at the end when I realized what I had done!
As I was running it struck me, the irony of my running through one of the most wealthiest towns in these parts( I run through it, I don't live in it), while trying to raise money for one of the poorest countries in the world. Learning to live here while knowing what I now know and having seen the things I now have is a constant struggle. Having to admit to myself that I like nice houses, I like nice things. Is it ok to feel this way? How am I not to live with constant guilt with what the Lord has provided for me and my family and that sometimes I can become easily greedy and dare to want... more. Its hard to live here surrounded by wealth and overabundance. It makes me want. I don't want to want. Wanting creates envy. Envy is ugly.
Haiti is simple. Life there is simple. The stuff isn't all there to cloud your mind. You can focus.
God first. Always.
So those thoughts took me to around mile 12 1/2. At which point my body cried " mercy" and I just wanted to be done. I looked at poor Sage. What an amazing kid. Yes, she's my daughter so I have to say that, but really she is. Not one complaint. I know she was bored. She couldn't zoom on ahead, she was sticking with me. Riding a bike slow is very annoying. Sitting on a bike seat for 2 1/2 hours is hard.
At mile 14 , my pace really slowed. She encouraged me. Sorry to embarrass you, Sage, but I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
My form began to change. Not sure if went from incorrect to correct, or the reverse, but my legs started to bend more at the knees. It was as if my body wanted to be lower to the ground. It did. I wanted to be laying on it!
At the end, my arms seem to be pumping me along. Taking over for the lower half. I finished. 15 miles! Longest I've ever run. At this point I'll be able to say that until the end. There is a certain pride that comes with that statement. Even if I say it while laying on the couch with ice on both knees and no desire at all to even stand up for the rest of the day!!!!!!
Thanks for loving, giving, and praying!!!!!
We set out late, around 7:15, I had hoped to be out by 6:30, but my usual morning procrastination got in the way. The temperature was perfect! Warm enough for shorts, cold enough to keep me from sweating like a lunatic!
The first 7mi. were pretty uneventful. Just going. One foot in front of the other. Thankful for my company. Thankful for the quiet around us.
At 7 1/2, I needed to stop for a bottle of Gatorade. Sage had been carrying my water bottle in her backpack, and I haven't quite figured out how to carry enough water with me to last the distance. I got a camel pack for Mother's Day, but the thought of having to clean out the water bag has kept me from using it!
We stopped and I ran( ok I walked) into the store and grabbed a drink , I grabbed a cliff bar too( although the peanut m&ms were looking pretty darn good). My legs were feeling ok, but my stomach was feeling real empty and realizing I was only half way done I decided to eat at least half. One piece of peanut butter toast only lasts your body 7 1/2 mi. I guess.
I figured I'd change up the return route a little, not realizing the distance it would add. Glad at the time because it was more scenic. Not happy at the end when I realized what I had done!
As I was running it struck me, the irony of my running through one of the most wealthiest towns in these parts( I run through it, I don't live in it), while trying to raise money for one of the poorest countries in the world. Learning to live here while knowing what I now know and having seen the things I now have is a constant struggle. Having to admit to myself that I like nice houses, I like nice things. Is it ok to feel this way? How am I not to live with constant guilt with what the Lord has provided for me and my family and that sometimes I can become easily greedy and dare to want... more. Its hard to live here surrounded by wealth and overabundance. It makes me want. I don't want to want. Wanting creates envy. Envy is ugly.
Haiti is simple. Life there is simple. The stuff isn't all there to cloud your mind. You can focus.
God first. Always.
So those thoughts took me to around mile 12 1/2. At which point my body cried " mercy" and I just wanted to be done. I looked at poor Sage. What an amazing kid. Yes, she's my daughter so I have to say that, but really she is. Not one complaint. I know she was bored. She couldn't zoom on ahead, she was sticking with me. Riding a bike slow is very annoying. Sitting on a bike seat for 2 1/2 hours is hard.
At mile 14 , my pace really slowed. She encouraged me. Sorry to embarrass you, Sage, but I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
My form began to change. Not sure if went from incorrect to correct, or the reverse, but my legs started to bend more at the knees. It was as if my body wanted to be lower to the ground. It did. I wanted to be laying on it!
At the end, my arms seem to be pumping me along. Taking over for the lower half. I finished. 15 miles! Longest I've ever run. At this point I'll be able to say that until the end. There is a certain pride that comes with that statement. Even if I say it while laying on the couch with ice on both knees and no desire at all to even stand up for the rest of the day!!!!!!
Thanks for loving, giving, and praying!!!!!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Filhos, Oh how I love thee!!
Well, your chicken parm that is! Filhos Cucina in Groton, Ma makes THE best chicken parmesan EVER!!!!!
I mention this because the part of training I like best is carbo loading the night before my long run. Every race I have run since Filhos has opened had me eating their chicken parm the night before the race. Its just that good. My body likes it, my stomach agrees with it( very important), and I feel energized.
This week I had some stomach issues( I am prepared to very honest on this blog), and so I was feeling very empty( pun intended :-) ) , last night and was a little nervous about what my stomach would do on todays 12 mile run. I am pleased to report, thanks to Filhos ( and prayer, of course), my run went very well( by well I mean I there were no emergency trips off road)!
Sadly, I realize, that I will not be able to afford Filhos every Friday night leading up to the race. That would probably defeat the purpose of fundraising. I will have to perfect my own chicken parm recipe and hope it comes close enough to fool my body into thinking its getting the real thing.
Now, the run..... Today I ran 12 miles. I am a little behind schedule because I missed two weeks of long runs while I was in Haiti and despite this notion that " the body enjoys a break, and it will be stronger after", my legs apparently think quite differently!
Every long run starts off exactly the same. I dread it. I dilly dally in the morning before heading out. I wonder if perhaps Sunday would be a better day for a long run. Eventually I make it out the door.
My body resists. First one knee sort of snaps in place with a nice shooting pain, then the other does the same. Thank goodness they don't do it at the same time or else I'd land face first on the road. A mile or so into the run my left hamstring makes its presence known with a good squeeze and reminds me I forgot to stretch long enough. Again. About mile three or four I feel tired and begin to think " this is not gonna be a good run". I keep going because history has shown me that about mile five or six my body will stop resisting and accept that together, me, my body, and my mind, are gonna do this. And I fall into my pace. This happens on EVERY run. Its pretty annoying.
Amazingly, my pace came quicker today. My mind didn't torment me with evil thoughts of quitting and I actually had a pleasant run. Besides a killer blister on one of my toes( as if my feet weren't ugly enough already) my body feels good.
I'm sure the combination of finally committing to do this and all the amazing donations and support I am feeling had something to do with it. I think my feet actually felt lighter this morning knowing you are all out there and you support this.
Thank you all for loving, giving, praying.
I mention this because the part of training I like best is carbo loading the night before my long run. Every race I have run since Filhos has opened had me eating their chicken parm the night before the race. Its just that good. My body likes it, my stomach agrees with it( very important), and I feel energized.
This week I had some stomach issues( I am prepared to very honest on this blog), and so I was feeling very empty( pun intended :-) ) , last night and was a little nervous about what my stomach would do on todays 12 mile run. I am pleased to report, thanks to Filhos ( and prayer, of course), my run went very well( by well I mean I there were no emergency trips off road)!
Sadly, I realize, that I will not be able to afford Filhos every Friday night leading up to the race. That would probably defeat the purpose of fundraising. I will have to perfect my own chicken parm recipe and hope it comes close enough to fool my body into thinking its getting the real thing.
Now, the run..... Today I ran 12 miles. I am a little behind schedule because I missed two weeks of long runs while I was in Haiti and despite this notion that " the body enjoys a break, and it will be stronger after", my legs apparently think quite differently!
Every long run starts off exactly the same. I dread it. I dilly dally in the morning before heading out. I wonder if perhaps Sunday would be a better day for a long run. Eventually I make it out the door.
My body resists. First one knee sort of snaps in place with a nice shooting pain, then the other does the same. Thank goodness they don't do it at the same time or else I'd land face first on the road. A mile or so into the run my left hamstring makes its presence known with a good squeeze and reminds me I forgot to stretch long enough. Again. About mile three or four I feel tired and begin to think " this is not gonna be a good run". I keep going because history has shown me that about mile five or six my body will stop resisting and accept that together, me, my body, and my mind, are gonna do this. And I fall into my pace. This happens on EVERY run. Its pretty annoying.
Amazingly, my pace came quicker today. My mind didn't torment me with evil thoughts of quitting and I actually had a pleasant run. Besides a killer blister on one of my toes( as if my feet weren't ugly enough already) my body feels good.
I'm sure the combination of finally committing to do this and all the amazing donations and support I am feeling had something to do with it. I think my feet actually felt lighter this morning knowing you are all out there and you support this.
Thank you all for loving, giving, praying.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Can I just say how BLOWN AWAY I am by everyone's support!!!!
You all are awesome!
Thank you for loving these kids, these woman, this orphanage, this country!!!!!
Today I received an e-mail from a family that has pledged to MATCH ALL DONATIONS UP TO TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!! Did not see that coming! Now, although that technically means my goal of 1200. is now reached, please see that now we have the opportunity to raise 2400.!!!!!! That's a lot of love!!!!
Before I committed to this idea of running and fundraising I prayed a lot. A lot. "God, can I do this?"," God do you want me to do this?"," God, will I actually raise any money?" I believed He was saying " yes, go ahead", but I never got a clear and "you will succeed".
Who the heck wants to go before a ton of people with an idea and fail miserably? Not me! So I did what comes all too naturally to me. I procrastinated. I was still running, but I knew until I created this blog I could always back out. I looked for every excuse I could to not do this.
My knee started to hurt.
My hamstring became extremely tight.
It was taking too much time away from my family.
I could barely run 7mi. one day, it felt laughable that I'd ever run 26.2( a bad run will really play a mind game with you).
The excuses kept coming.
Then, one day, louder then the reasons not to, came the reason to. God called me to this. It doesn't matter the outcome, it only matters that I obey. Trust and obey.
With faith I created the blog. With faith I've put myself out there. Determined" to not worry about tomorrow".
Imagine my amazement when just two days into this I can say I have already met my goal!!! Because of you being willing to listen to Gods gentle urging in your hearts, WE CAN GET ANOTHER CAREGIVER FOR TWO YEARS!!!!!!!
What do we do now? Well, I still have to run of course. And you can STILL CONTINUE TO DONATE!!!! Clearly God has a plan here! Just by reading this YOU are a part of His plan. More money means more years of caregivers sponsored. Perhaps it will mean more caregivers. Lets cross that bridge when we come to it. I hope we come to it! Sadly, there will always be children living in the orphange. That means there will always be a need for caregivers.
Please continue to share my post with people. Think about donating yourself, if you haven't already. Remember it doesn't have to be a lot. The smallest amount makes a difference. You can make a difference.
I'm soooooooo excited!!!!!!!
Thank you for loving these kids, these woman, this orphanage, this country!!!!!
Today I received an e-mail from a family that has pledged to MATCH ALL DONATIONS UP TO TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!!!! Did not see that coming! Now, although that technically means my goal of 1200. is now reached, please see that now we have the opportunity to raise 2400.!!!!!! That's a lot of love!!!!
Before I committed to this idea of running and fundraising I prayed a lot. A lot. "God, can I do this?"," God do you want me to do this?"," God, will I actually raise any money?" I believed He was saying " yes, go ahead", but I never got a clear and "you will succeed".
Who the heck wants to go before a ton of people with an idea and fail miserably? Not me! So I did what comes all too naturally to me. I procrastinated. I was still running, but I knew until I created this blog I could always back out. I looked for every excuse I could to not do this.
My knee started to hurt.
My hamstring became extremely tight.
It was taking too much time away from my family.
I could barely run 7mi. one day, it felt laughable that I'd ever run 26.2( a bad run will really play a mind game with you).
The excuses kept coming.
Then, one day, louder then the reasons not to, came the reason to. God called me to this. It doesn't matter the outcome, it only matters that I obey. Trust and obey.
With faith I created the blog. With faith I've put myself out there. Determined" to not worry about tomorrow".
Imagine my amazement when just two days into this I can say I have already met my goal!!! Because of you being willing to listen to Gods gentle urging in your hearts, WE CAN GET ANOTHER CAREGIVER FOR TWO YEARS!!!!!!!
What do we do now? Well, I still have to run of course. And you can STILL CONTINUE TO DONATE!!!! Clearly God has a plan here! Just by reading this YOU are a part of His plan. More money means more years of caregivers sponsored. Perhaps it will mean more caregivers. Lets cross that bridge when we come to it. I hope we come to it! Sadly, there will always be children living in the orphange. That means there will always be a need for caregivers.
Please continue to share my post with people. Think about donating yourself, if you haven't already. Remember it doesn't have to be a lot. The smallest amount makes a difference. You can make a difference.
I'm soooooooo excited!!!!!!!
A word about Chip In
I've received some questions regarding Chip In so.....
When you click on the Chip In button it takes you directly to a paypal account for Servants For Haiti. I never see who is donating or how much until it shows a total on my Chip In meter.
You receive a receipt from Paypal showing your donation amount and that it went to SFH. It will also specify that the donation is for "an additional caregiver" .
Servants For Haiti receives your donation directly from your paypal account into thiers.
Of course you also have the option of sending a check directly to SFH and you could just specify on the check and include a note that you wanted your donation to go towards supporting a caregiver.
Servants For Haiti
PO Box 1214
Westford,Ma
01886
Thanks so much for your support
When you click on the Chip In button it takes you directly to a paypal account for Servants For Haiti. I never see who is donating or how much until it shows a total on my Chip In meter.
You receive a receipt from Paypal showing your donation amount and that it went to SFH. It will also specify that the donation is for "an additional caregiver" .
Servants For Haiti receives your donation directly from your paypal account into thiers.
Of course you also have the option of sending a check directly to SFH and you could just specify on the check and include a note that you wanted your donation to go towards supporting a caregiver.
Servants For Haiti
PO Box 1214
Westford,Ma
01886
Thanks so much for your support
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Why a marathon? Why a caregiver?
I've always wanted to run a marathon. I've always wondered if I had it in me to keep going mile after mile.
A few years ago I set a half-marathon as my personal "lets see if I can do this" goal. With the help of a very encouraging running buddy I finished and I didn't feel like I'd die after so I signed up for another one. That one didn't end as well and like many people who have a bad race I swore I was done. Why was I torturing myself anyway? I proved to myself I could finish, time to let it go. And yet a month or so later I found myself training for another half. Maybe I'd do better this time. Like child-birth, you forget the pain. Until you're somewhere between mile 1o-11, when you remember that pain and you wonder again," what on earth am I doing this for?"
So, I knew that if I were ever to run a marathon I'd need a purpose. Something I was running for. Something meaningful. Something that at mile 24( I'm praying it won't be before that!) I can tell myself "its not about me". I can know in my heart, the steps I have to finish stand for more then wondering what I'm capable of, but rather what I'm passionate about. What I want others to know about.
My passion is Haiti's children. The orphans, the innocent.
Currently my son, Roody, is living at Wayom Timoun ( Kingdom Kids) Orphanage in Cite Militaire, Haiti. We have begun the paperwork process to bring him home, but truly only God knows when that will be. I have met him and loved him and had the heartbreaking task of leaving him. Twice.
Wayom Timoun had 30 children before the earthquake. Since Jan. 12, 2010 their numbers have increased to near 60. 60 children who have suffered a tragic loss. Some of these kids now have parents that are waiting for them to come home. Some are still waiting........ is adoption on your heart?
Right now the amount of caregivers living, loving, dressing, cleaning,, feeding these kids is the same as when there were only 30. Just as you can sponsor the children of the orphange ( check out servantsforhaiti.org) for more info :-) ) , you can sponsor a caregiver. The cost is 50.00 a month. Do you have any idea what these caregivers do??????? I have seen them work. From sun-up to sundown these amazing strong beautiful Haitian woman are busting their buts the likes of which you can't even imagine!!!! Constantly going , never complaining, certainly not stopping for tea in the afternoon or a nap!!!! Laundry is done by HAND!!!!!!! Dishes are done by HAND!!!!!!!!!!Babies need changing, toddlers need direction, kids need to be fed..... But there aren't enough caregivers to get this work done. I said they don't complain, but these ladies are tired!!!!!!
I love and appreciate these woman. I am thankful they are there. But there needs to be more of them! For the sake of the children...... For the fathers and mothers who died in the quake, the parents who had to leave their children beause they could no longer care for them.......I want to provide more help.
With your help and support I'd like to raise enough to pay for another caregiver for the next two years. What happens after that? Not sure..... I guess I run another marathon!!!!!!
So thats it! My passion. Lets take care of Haiti's children.
We can't all move there and do it ourselves( although if God opened a door.....) , but we can provide the care these kids need through other means. 50.00 a month for what these woman do????!!!!!!!! They deserve so much more.... but thats another blog post.
This blog( I can't believe I'm writing a blog, does anyone really want to know whats in my head???) is my journey as I train. Most likely with occasional snipets of Haiti weaved in!
Will you share my blog with people? You never know who it will reach. And Please.........
if you can't support me financially, please pray for me.......... I have a feeling I'm gonna need it!!!!!!!
A few years ago I set a half-marathon as my personal "lets see if I can do this" goal. With the help of a very encouraging running buddy I finished and I didn't feel like I'd die after so I signed up for another one. That one didn't end as well and like many people who have a bad race I swore I was done. Why was I torturing myself anyway? I proved to myself I could finish, time to let it go. And yet a month or so later I found myself training for another half. Maybe I'd do better this time. Like child-birth, you forget the pain. Until you're somewhere between mile 1o-11, when you remember that pain and you wonder again," what on earth am I doing this for?"
So, I knew that if I were ever to run a marathon I'd need a purpose. Something I was running for. Something meaningful. Something that at mile 24( I'm praying it won't be before that!) I can tell myself "its not about me". I can know in my heart, the steps I have to finish stand for more then wondering what I'm capable of, but rather what I'm passionate about. What I want others to know about.
My passion is Haiti's children. The orphans, the innocent.
Currently my son, Roody, is living at Wayom Timoun ( Kingdom Kids) Orphanage in Cite Militaire, Haiti. We have begun the paperwork process to bring him home, but truly only God knows when that will be. I have met him and loved him and had the heartbreaking task of leaving him. Twice.
Wayom Timoun had 30 children before the earthquake. Since Jan. 12, 2010 their numbers have increased to near 60. 60 children who have suffered a tragic loss. Some of these kids now have parents that are waiting for them to come home. Some are still waiting........ is adoption on your heart?
Right now the amount of caregivers living, loving, dressing, cleaning,, feeding these kids is the same as when there were only 30. Just as you can sponsor the children of the orphange ( check out servantsforhaiti.org) for more info :-) ) , you can sponsor a caregiver. The cost is 50.00 a month. Do you have any idea what these caregivers do??????? I have seen them work. From sun-up to sundown these amazing strong beautiful Haitian woman are busting their buts the likes of which you can't even imagine!!!! Constantly going , never complaining, certainly not stopping for tea in the afternoon or a nap!!!! Laundry is done by HAND!!!!!!! Dishes are done by HAND!!!!!!!!!!Babies need changing, toddlers need direction, kids need to be fed..... But there aren't enough caregivers to get this work done. I said they don't complain, but these ladies are tired!!!!!!
I love and appreciate these woman. I am thankful they are there. But there needs to be more of them! For the sake of the children...... For the fathers and mothers who died in the quake, the parents who had to leave their children beause they could no longer care for them.......I want to provide more help.
With your help and support I'd like to raise enough to pay for another caregiver for the next two years. What happens after that? Not sure..... I guess I run another marathon!!!!!!
So thats it! My passion. Lets take care of Haiti's children.
We can't all move there and do it ourselves( although if God opened a door.....) , but we can provide the care these kids need through other means. 50.00 a month for what these woman do????!!!!!!!! They deserve so much more.... but thats another blog post.
This blog( I can't believe I'm writing a blog, does anyone really want to know whats in my head???) is my journey as I train. Most likely with occasional snipets of Haiti weaved in!
Will you share my blog with people? You never know who it will reach. And Please.........
if you can't support me financially, please pray for me.......... I have a feeling I'm gonna need it!!!!!!!
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